Svelt Vs Smelt.....What is smelt?!

It's been a bit of a slow day. Boring. Uninspiring. Cold.

LAAAAAME.

So how do you suppose I decided to cheer the old Steph-a-roo up?!

That's right....by reading my own blogs.

Newflash: I'm very into me.

Here's what I found.....I am much more partial to my older writings....Circa September 2008 .... than the more recent musings.

They were funny! At least to me. But then I know me, so I have a bit of an inside scoop on that.

Obvo.

I'm thinking I must have been exercising or on diet pills or taking naps or something in September!?

I wonder if my pants still fit back then?

I bet they did. That DEFINITELY plays a big role in my fun and funniness capabilites.

* Side note, you're are also able to breethe much easier when your pants arent' cutting into major organs.


I've always been that way. About the weight vs happiness dealy.

Having pin-pointed that about myself ......

I am on a big fantastic high-protein diet that my 104 lb hair dresser gave me. WHO, by the way, lost 10lbs in 2 weeks (ALLEGEDLY) and guess who hasn't lost ONE GOD FORSAKEN POUND in 4 brutal days?!

I'm quite irritated. And fat.

Nonetheless!

I'm calling up that frosted tipped twit and giving her the what-for...I bet you she has been plotting against me since I forgot her tip back in May.

Well I'll tell you a little secret, she made my roots orange....So sue me if I acted like I forgot a tip.

BIG WHUP. I HAD ORANGE ROOTS.! You try feeling good about yourself with Halloween hair.

It is time to now pose a tremendously deep and life-altering questions that might have you questioning your faith:

Which is worse? Jiggly thighs with a tremendous high-light? Or wearing a size 2 with poorly processed hair?

Please send your responses with a $20 bill to the Rockford Chamber of Commerce Attn: Stephanie Wasemiller.

I will tally up the votes and report the verdict during next week's blog. You may vote as often as you like. In fact, multiple voting is encouraged. BIG TIME.

Droppy

There is one thing in life that seriously gets my goat.

Drives me nuts-o.

Makes me want to poke someone's eyes out. For CEREAL.

Here it is:

I HATE it when someone is droppy. It just makes me bezerk! I mean koo koo in la cabeza. Honestly, it makes me want to SCRIBBLE swear words in dark colors.

Don't try to squeeze in a bunch of droppy suedo important info when I ask you a completely unrelated question.

Such as:

"Girl, where did you get those HOT Shoes?!"

Instead of replying with, "Hon please! Nordys"

Someone answers with:

"Hon please! You know the hubby got that phat promotion and we're makine like $650,000 a year now, so I got them in every color at Nordys."

BEGAAAA?!

There is no reason for that nonsense. NONE.

Just drives me bonkers.

Clearly. Because I haven't blogged in like a decade and choose to ramble on about this today.

But I cannot let it fester.

That would just be destruction to my soul. And let's be honest, I do not need a festering soul. Or a marinating one. Or fizzling. A soul dipped in dulche de leche? NOW we're talking!

BUT I digress....


I don't mind people being successful etc. In fact, I prefer it...esp in my friends. It's not like I'm looking for a bunch of losers...And if you're successful your life is just going to reflect that, etc.

No duh.

I get it.

But this bragginess and acting like some info is just "slipping out"?

Do not insult me. I was on to you about 15 years ago.

Seriously, nothing says GAG like a droppy-dropperson.

At least in my world.

Now you know.